Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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