SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
