just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We left the knife in your bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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