shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Let's get the cat blown out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
