No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
