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• (813): View more from Florida

  she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol

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• (716): View more from New York

  I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining

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