I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
