In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Rumble strips road head = magical
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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