In the future we'll all be gay
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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