WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
