I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize