Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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