dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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