how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The Olympian is in my bed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
