Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
