I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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