Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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