so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
