So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
