Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How's work?
Spinning.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
