I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
