I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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