is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
