I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
