Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
