If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize