That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize