So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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