Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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