Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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