I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
