I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
