Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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