ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
