your room smells of hookers.
And success
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize