And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
