Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
