Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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