last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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