here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dear god my vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
