So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
