Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
