Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
