Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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