I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
