it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
