Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
