I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
