do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
