Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
