I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
