Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
