You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This toilet bowl is my home.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
