I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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