I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
