Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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