YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
