D3 body, D1 cock
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize