it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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