I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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