I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize