is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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