Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
